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[agnes_nitt]

Agnes stares hard at her reflection in Suzi's bathroom mirror.

"How could you think that was funny? It was mean and hurtful!"

The reflection doesn't actually change, but Perdita's in Agnes' head enough to make it appear so to the witch.

I can't help it if they have no sense of humor. It was true, though! All you two have ever done in a bed is sleep!

"That isn't the point! You just don't say things like that. I really like this guy. And he likes me! And he isn't with me because he made some... stupid oath that he would be!"

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[mago_sonriente]

There's a knock on the door.

"Agnes?"

He sounds... worried. And a little nervous. And evern a little ashamed.

[agnes_nitt]

She doesn't really register Carlos' voice. She's too wrapped up in herself at the moment.

He'll still like you after this, Perdita had been saying. Tell him you were having your monthlys, and all will be forgiven.

"Lie, cheat, and steal, you mean? That's your answer for everything!" Agnes shouts back.

It's not mine, it's yours. It's what you would do if you threw away your propriety and manner and really let yourself do as you pleased. That's what I am, remember?

"And the intent was so those things would stay buried where they belong! Not spewing out of my mouth at the first opportunity!"

[mago_sonriente]

He's trying not to be concerned. But when he hears that last sentence, he gets really concerned.

"Agnes? Agnes, are you okay in there?"

[agnes_nitt]

Oh, that was nothing! Just a little fun. You can't blame me for that!

But Agnes isn't listening to Perdita anymore. She's heard another voice on the other side of the door, and realizes with a slow horror that he's probably been there for a while.

"Shut up, just shut up!" she hisses back at the mirror, forcing the mental reflection away. After splashing a little water on her face, Agnes takes a deep breath and opens the door.

"I'm fine," she says in a less-than-convincing voice. Then, hearing how dull and dishonest her tone is, she sighs. "No, I'm not fine. But I don't know how to explain what isn't fine."

[mago_sonriente]

He gives her a smile, but it doesn't reach his eyes.

"What's to explain, babe?"

He breathes out and while he never looks in her eyes, right now he's just avoiding her whole face.

"It's not a big deal, Agnes. Whatever you think, you're not unattractive. And if I'm now what you're looking for hey, it happens. Life's too short to stay with something that isn't giving you what you need."

He smoothes his hand on her arm.

"It's okay. I'll still lend you those books, even. It's cool."

He's good at covering up the pain. Harry had letting it fester down pat, especially that explode later thing. Carlos just let it sink to the bottom, carried it with him.

[agnes_nitt]

She frowns and shakes her head.

"No, that's not it at all. I think you're great, and I like what we have, and what we could have. There's just... something about me you don't know. And I just don't know how... I mean, I'm not... The person you know isn't..."

Agnes throws up her hands.

"Damn it, I just don't know how to say it!"

[mago_sonriente]

"Well," he says quietly, "why don't you just say it?"

And he doesn't say it because he would it, but it's easy enough to read.

It can't be more tactless than what you already said.

[agnes_nitt]

"There's... someone else," she says carefully. "Inside me." A frown and a deep breath. "And she's a bitch."

[mago_sonriente]

"She the one with the snappy one liners about our lack-of-sexlife?"

He might as well get that out of the way while it was bothering him.

[agnes_nitt]

Agnes drops her eyes to the floor. "Yeah. That'd be her. She thinks she's funny."

[mago_sonriente]

There's a long pause.

"Do you mind? Our lack of sex life?"

He'll get to Perdita in a minute.

[agnes_nitt]

"No!" she insists immediately, snapping her eyes back up and going into full babble mode.

"If I wanted sex, I could get it anytime I cared to by going to the brothel. But I tried that, and it just felt wrong. Sex isn't what I'm after, I realized. I want what I had with Tim, which was love. And I know it's not good to talk about your ex -- she told me that last time -- but there's no way else to say it, and it's the truth, and damn it, I hate the thought of lying to you. And I think I could love you -- I don't know how you feel about me -- but until I do, I don't want to screw anything up with you, but it keeps happening anyway, and so I had to tell you before it happens again and makes things even worse!"

[mago_sonriente]

She didn't finish the worse.

Mostly because he decided to kiss her.

[agnes_nitt]

That was probably the last thing she expected to happen just then, so she fairly squeaks when his lips touch hers. Once the shock wears off, though, she simply melts against him.

"I was afraid you wouldn't believe me," she says when the kiss breaks, laying her head against his chest. "I wouldn't believe me if I was anyone else but me."

[mago_sonriente]

"I love you," he says honestly, so close to looking her in the eyes. So very close.

"I will tell you honestly that I don't know if I'm in love with you, but I know I love you. That I'm very sure of."

His hands smooth down her hair and against her cheek.

"And I don't think you would lie to me. Not about that."

A faint smile.

"And it explains the duet I heard sometimes when I was looking around with my Sight. I never looked at you, but I could hear it a little."

[agnes_nitt]

"I wouldn't lie to you about anything," she replies simply. Then, "what do you mean, duet?"

[mago_sonriente]

He sighs with a faint smile at the end, though the smile is genuine.

"My wizard's Sight? It's actually sound. When you use the Sight, you see past all illusions to what things really are. How you perceive that is different for every wizard. For me? It's sound, usually music."

He gives her a crooked grin.

"Whenever I'd look near you while I was using my Sight, I'd start hearing a duet."

[agnes_nitt]

Agnes thinks for a moment.

"That might not be because of that. It might be because I can do this..."

She starts singing softly, a bit of an aria from a French opera she'd learned from Meg a couple of years ago. Then, her second voice comes in, harmonizing with the first.

[mago_sonriente]

"...my sister would kill to be able to do that."

[agnes_nitt]

She finishes the verse and smiles sheepishly.

"And I could do that before Perdita."

[mago_sonriente]

"Perdita, huh?"

He looks at Agnes, as if looking for a second head, before focusing on Agnes's...

Well, her nose for the moment.

"Is that why you--"

And he sort of waves a hand in a vague gesture.

"With the soulgaze thing?"

[agnes_nitt]

"Yeah. Ever since you told me about it, I've been trying to avoid it. You mostly haven't wanted to either, so it's been okay."

Agnes reaches over and twines her fingers with his.

"You ever hear the expression 'inside every fat girl is a thin girl and a lot of chocolate'?"

[mago_sonriente]

"Not really," he admits. "Then again, I'm not your average guy."

And he'd grown up with six aunts and six older sisters.

[agnes_nitt]

"Well, that's what they always said where I'm from. And I took it a little too much to heart. Perdita is the name of my inner thin girl."

[mago_sonriente]

He nods to that.

"Is there a reason why she's, uh..."

'Bitchrag' is the kind of word that could break the moment.

[agnes_nitt]

Agnes looks down again.

"Well, that's sort of the part makes it so hard to talk about. Perdita is me. She's who I would have been if I'd been thin. She's got all the confidence, all the wit, and none of the shame or restraint. She's not a separate person. She's all the parts of me that I've repressed out of fear or self-doubt. Which means, if you take us together, I'm really not a very nice or good person."

[mago_sonriente]

He just looks at her for a moment.

"So... you named your Id?"

He skips on ahead, figuring that if she hasn't heard of it, so be it.

"Agnes? Everyone has that little inside of them. Most of us don't name it and hey, maybe it doesn't get like it is with you and Perdita, but regardless...

"What happened earlier? You didn't want to say that. If it had been up to you, you wouldn't have. Having impulses doesn't make you a rotten person and lacking them doesn't make you nice. It's what you choose to do with them, either way.

"And you're my Agnes, big and sweet and beautiful."

[agnes_nitt]

"It's more than that with us. She has a Name." Agnes deliberately pronounces the capital, knowing that Carlos will understand the significance. "I named her, and because I'm a witch, that gave her reality."

[mago_sonriente]

"Aha."

He looks at her sideways.

"That doesn't change what I said, though. She's a little bigger and badder than the usual Id. She's real. Fine."

A small, still nervous smile.

"You're still you. And I still think you are a good person." There's a short pause before he looks right at her, well, nose.

"Perdita" and there's something to how he says that name, something that echoes across the skin, "will have to learn to behave. You gave her her name, Agnes. That's power over her, if you're willing to use it."

He'd said the thin girl's Name to make a point. He would never use that name to do anything... but he wanted to show Agnes.

[agnes_nitt]

Half a dozen statements bubble up, but die before they reach her lips. Finally, she settles for just nodding and laying her head against his chest again.

[mago_sonriente]

And he wants to say more, but he settles too, for just holding her there and kissing her hair.

After a minute, though, the mouth must have out.

"You're not getting rid of me that easily."

[agnes_nitt]

"Good."

After a minute or so, Agnes looks around and realizes again where they are.

"You know, someone else may need to use this bathroom. Want to come up to my room? We can snuggle on the bed and listen to music if you want."

[mago_sonriente]

He nods.

"Yeah, we can do a venue change. I mean, I know I'm Romeo and everything but even I'm not too fond of rockin' the toilet here."

[agnes_nitt]

She gives him a shy smile, takes his hand, and leads him out of the bathroom and toward the door to Suzi's rooms. They give the Sime a quick wave when they catch her attention, and then head along the hallways to room 8888.

[mago_sonriente]

"What kind of music do you have? Or do I just get to hear the fantastic singing again?"

[agnes_nitt]

She blushes a little as she opens the door. "Opera, mostly. And some classical, too. I never could really understand most of the other stuff."

[mago_sonriente]

He laughs, just a little.

"Sounds good to me. You know Sara works for the Opera in Los Angeles, right?"

His eyes roll a little.

"Though you shoulda caught me the other day. The bar decided to let me in while I was working the mariachi spot for my cousin."

[agnes_nitt]

Agnes nods. "You told me. I'd love to talk to her about it sometime. What's mariachi?"

[mago_sonriente]

"Well, it's a kind of music group. Two violins, two trumpets, one Mexican guitar, one vihuela, and one guitarrón. You dress up in a ridiculous costume and in my case, walk around the restaurant to entertain the diners."

[agnes_nitt]

"Sounds... interesting," she replies diplomatically, though she can't quite hide the slight wrinkling of her nose.

[mago_sonriente]

"It's not as bad as it sounds," he says.

[agnes_nitt]

"Maybe next time you can bring some for me to listen to."

She walks over to the music player and -- she'd had to be taught how to do this -- puts one of the music discs into the holder. It's a French opera by someone named Puccini. Agnes presses the button labeled "Play" and goes back to the bed to lay down.

[mago_sonriente]

He takes off his suit jacket and puts the tie on the doorknob of her closet before flopping out himself, gathering her with one arm and kissing her hair after a moment.

"Sounds good."

[agnes_nitt]

Agnes snuggles against him, eyes closed as she listens to the music.

"It's one of my favorites," she murmurs. After a few more minutes of listening, she starts softly singing along, not even aware she's doing it. She sings both male and female parts, and has the range to pull them both off, even while only half-singing.

[mago_sonriente]

A strange little twist of thought has him ducking down to kiss her jaw. He smiles against her skin there and closes his eyes to listen to her and her recording.

[agnes_nitt]

About halfway through the disc, Agnes' singing starts to get softer and softer, and then stops entirely to be replaced by the deep, gentle breathing of sleep.

[mago_sonriente]

And a soft murmur of Spanish, a prayer and something more, is the last sound that slips out before his deep, gentle breathing joins hers.